Character Descriptions (in order of appearance)

BALL BOY, George’s son, who has been “voluntold” to work the tournament but would rather be playing video games.                                                              

PILOT, a commercial airline captain who is unafraid to tell it like it is.

GOD, the female Almighty, who is personified in the Chair Umpire on Centre Court.

GEORGE W. BUTTERWORTH, the (P)resident tennis pro, a top-seeded player on tour who moonlights as President of the United States.

SOUND MAN, a multi-tasking, old-school Foley artist and part-time piano player who is a throwback to the live radio drama of the 1920s.

REPORTERS, an assortment of international journalists who resist their manipulation yet function as dramatic foils for President Butterworth.

VICTOR STRANGEROVE, TV Anchorman, an unabashed, full-throated, goose-stepping “yellow” journalist who begs the question: “What would you get if you crossed Doctors Frankenstein and Strangelove with Karl Rove?”

QUEEN VICKIE, Puppetress of Niciraqistanbodia, the latest “friendly” dictator installed in a resource-rich foreign country who is a master craftswoman in the art of “doublespeak.”

SECRET SERVICE AGENT, Effective. Efficient. Fungible.

CUB REPORTER, the Ball Boy’s doppelganger who has also been “voluntold” to work, and who would also rather be playing videogames.

ISHMAEL, the divine ghost of a naval captain who recites George Orwell’s “Shooting an Elephant” as prophecy.

GENERAL CHARLES DE GAULLE, President of France’s Fifth Republic, who is a veteran of two World Wars, seeking to warn President Kennedy about the danger of becoming “entangled” in Vietnam, thereby repeating his own nation’s mistake.